Monday, May 23, 2011

"Keanu Reeves Won't Take on Akira"

Anime fans around the world...rejoice! The anime world has received its deliverance in the form of Keanu Reeves' rejection of a lead role in Akira (click for the article). Perhaps the Rapture that was scheduled to happen on Saturday decided to exert its divine influence in other areas of life for the benefit of all. By faith, I am most grateful that it did.

This headliner was a shocker for me, as I was only peripherally aware of a live-action version of Akira was in the works. My initial reaction?

WHY would you Keanu Reeves be your first pick? WHY?! I can't imagine anyone less qualified to be part of such a project. I don't even KNOW what Akira is about as I haven't read it (*gasp* shocking, I know), but I do know that it was a huge influence back in the 80s and has an iconic status today. I also know that Keanu Reeves can't act worth mouse shit and would end up presenting the world with a bastardized version of a character that would unfortunately survive in posterity till the end of time.

Why am I picking on poor Keanu, you may ask? Well, because he's appallingly bad, and he's inexplicably a sought-after actor. This point was driven home by Blackbird after she sent me the following link from showing how bad an actor he is. You can see for yourself - he's like a wooden board with a brown wig on top.

Facing the truth.

Anyway, we have nothing to fear now - the Keanu-in-Akira-gate scandal has been sidestepped, and hopefully a more worthy actor will come along to sign on to the project. Although, with a production team that considered Keanu Reeves for a lead role, maybe we should be questioning the whole idea of an American, live-action Akira film...

Credits to for making an awesome "Keanu sucks!" compilation, and the folks over at icanhascheezburger for making awesome Keanu-captioned posters and awesome captions in general.


PS: For those of you who are fans of Keanu Reeves, here's a more favorable i canhascheezburger picture just for you


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